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    Miss Moore had only been working as an elementary school science teacher for a little over a year before everything came to an end. The children loved her; they loved her dazzling smile, her beautiful voice that could make the morning birds sing in its awe, and they adored when she would come in every Tuesday with a box of cupcakes for the whole class.

    One Tuesday morning before school, Miss Moore came in early like she always had, coffee and papers in one hand and a box of cupcakes in the other. As she rested her things on her desk and sat down she discovered she had received a note. Picking up the tiny piece of paper she noticed it seemed to be written in what looked to be dried blood, it read, "I see you for wat you reely ar." Squinting at the note, Miss Moore shook her head. She crumpled the disturbing note and threw it in the garbage.

    "This is probably one of the English teacher's silly little pranks again." She said in disgust, "Always trying to frighten me, WELL I'VE HAD ENOU-" Cutting her off before she could finish, the classroom door slammed. Nearly jumping out of her seat, she knocked over her coffee soaking all of the papers on her desk.

    With a migraine forming she mumbled, "Oh fiddlesticks.." 
 
    As she looked for a spare napkin to clean the mess she heard giggling coming from the hall. Checking her watch she thought, "It's only 6:45. None of the children should be here yet." Without even realizing, she pursed her lips. "And why would they try to scare me on Cupcake Tuesday?"    
    
    Bewildered Miss Moore stood and decided to investigate this foolishness. Walking out into the hall there was no one, she looked in both directions but there was not a single soul in sight. Relief washed over her as she let out a long breath she hadn't known she'd been holding.
Thinking her imagination was getting the best of her, she told herself it was probably just the wind from an open window. Just then in the corner of her eye she saw what looked like to be a child running around a corner, Turning her head in that direction, she moved to follow the child.

    In her best teacher voice she called, "No running in the halls!" 

    Picking up her pace her blonde hair bounced ferociously around her shoulders. She had made it to the end of the hall but didn't see any children. She looked in every direction but saw nothing more than tiny lockers and a dark hallway. 

    With fear slowly creeping Its way in she asked in a shaky breath, "H..Hello? is someone there?"

    A childish whisper came from behind, "Over here Miss Moore." Miss Moore whipped around and saw a young boy peeking out of a classroom at the end of the hall. The boy giggled and ran into the room. 

    "Hey!" she shouted.

     Jogging to the classroom, she heard more giggles. Convinced now more then ever it was one of her students playing a prank on her, she entered the room as professionally as she could, not showing the child he had gotten under her skin. Crossing the threshold, a chill went down her spine. It spread all over her body raising each hair to stand straight. The door slammed shut.

    "Miss Moore." The voice whispered. 

    Swinging herself around she looked hard at the chalkboard at the back of the room, written on the board in what looked like to be children's handwriting. It spelled out, "Its yor falt."  Now feeling nothing but raw fear Miss Moore tried to run out of the classroom but the door may as well been painted on the wall, it refused to budge even in the slightest. There was no point shouting for help, school didn't start for another two hours, and nobody else would be here this early.
   
    Fed up with playing games with this child she turned around and screamed, "LET ME OUT OF HERE THIS INSTANT YOUNG MAN!" stomping her foot on the ground, But there was no reply, all she could hear was the ringing in her own ears.

    Her rage flaring she demanded,  "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? SHOW YOURSELF! AND OPEN THIS DOOR! THAT'S AN-" 

    Cutting her off mid sentence was an ear piercing scream, the scream rang through her head as if someone had taken their nails and dragged them against the chalkboard of her mind. Her nose bleeding she collapsed to the floor shaking, holding her palms tightly against her ears. As she looked up Miss Moore was in complete fear, her eyes widened as she saw a huge black mass of pure darkness form not even five feet away from where she laid. The mass moved closer. Miss More found herself lifted off the ground suddenly, presumably by the darkness, and she dangled like a useless rag doll. While she hung there, she felt her neck being squeezed tightly.
    
    Trying to gasp for air she could feel Its hatred, Its anger, the evil was so overpowering It's darkness engulfed every fiber of her being, swallowing her whole. Tears had begun to fall down her face as she struggled to break free from the shadowy grasp. 

    "You science teachers only hurt me! what did I ever do to you? I'm a good boy!"

     The voice sounded like a small boy having a tantrum, but all she could see was a blob of pure darkness. The grip grew tighter as it spoke. Feeling the bones in her neck cracking under the pressure, she managed an inaudible noise.
    The darkness now formed into a small child, his eyes were lifeless and his skin was white as snow. His throat had deep purple bruises all around it. She tried to gasp and free herself, but the grip around her own neck only tightened.

    The boy screamed, "I HATE YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU!"

     At that exact moment Miss Moore was thrown at the window at an incredible speed shattering the window completely as she went through it, she began to fall from the third floor science room. The last thing Miss Moore ever saw was a small boy standing by the window, smiling down at her. 

    Later that same morning, making their way towards the building a few teachers found her body crumpled and broken on the ground, in complete shock and disbelief of what their eyes had witnessed they frantically dialed 911.
   
     It didn't take long for the police and ambulance to arrive, but Miss Moore was pronounced dead at the scene. About a half hour later news reporters surrounded the parking lot like a mass of worker bees all swarming around in desperate search of pollen. A young Korean woman was quickest to have her cameras rolling, itching to be the first to report such grave news to the world.

    Putting on her best poker face, she spoke in a robotic tone, "Tragedy has struck the hearts of faculty and students here at Hawthorne Elementary school. This morning, the body of Elizabeth Moore was discovered, covered in blood on the sidewalk. Police have yet to report on the details, however it is known that the teacher had been working at the school for only a year. She will be dearly missed by her colleagues and the students, who all adored her. It is sad news indeed for a school that is only beginning to recover from the death of a young student, exactly a year ago. First grader, Thomas Rowling, was found dead in the school's basement. Mr Greyson, the school's science teacher for 25 years, was recently found guilty of raping and strangling the student to death. He has been sentenced to death by lethal injection. But now, as we all wait to find out what happened here, we are left pondering. Was this a tragic accident, or another cold blooded murder? I'm Su-Jin Ryuk, action news."
"Swinging herself around she looked hard at the chalkboard at the back of the room, written on the board in what looked like to be children's handwriting. It spelled out, "Its yor falt."  Now feeling nothing but raw fear Miss Moore tried to run out of the classroom but the door may as well been painted on the wall.." 



Thanks for the Daily Deviation by BatmanWithBunnyEars
Wow! I didn't think this would actually get a DD! definitely a
wonderful surprise to wake up to this morning! I am honored! :D
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2014-09-25
Bloody Cupcakes by SirCassie is an eerie story sure to creep you out. ( Featured by HugQueen )
:iconcosmicgrounds:
Critique by CosmicGrounds Jun 3, 2014, 12:45:31 AM
I was immediately pulled into your story from the title and first sentence alone. The similes and metaphors that describe everything from the setting to the characters' description was vivid, allowing me to see myself as Ms. Moore. I love how the story flows incredibly well. I hadn't stopped reading the story, for the reason being I wanted to solve the case of who and what was leading Ms. Moore to her ghastly death.

It's rare that horror stories have me looking behind me "just in case", but this story did raise some hairs. The entire story read off as a movie playing in my head, even with eerie music in the background. I didn't see any grammatical errors and I can tell you have taken great care when writing such a story. The ending was surprising as I did not expect that to be the reason. Well done, CaptainCassieArt!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
49 out of 58 deviants thought this was fair.

:icondracozombie:
While I love a good scare, unfortunately, this wasn't one that delivered for me. It was primarily a matter of technique--the prose was often blunt and clunky, which impacts your ability to set a tone (it's especially critical to do so in a genre like horror). One example of the clunky prose is in the opening paragraph, "... she lived her life every day putting her students before anything else in her life." That kind of repetition was awkward and could have fixed on a reread.

Your formatting is inconsistent. Some paragraphs are indented, others are not. Some paragraphs are single-space, some are double. Your dialogue tags are also incorrect (periods where there should be commas, capitalization where it should it lowercase, but I won't get into that here). It distracted me from the experience, and was something that really should've been fixed on another reread. Watch comma splices as well--they were in your very first sentence no less (which technically should've been two).

Especially with horror, take a breath. Slow down. Vary your sentences. It's supposed to be tense, but it reads way too fast and I honestly had to reread sentences because I missed something... like the note written in dried blood. Since it got lumped in with the rest of that paragraph, which was all about coming in early and coffee and whatnot, I would've breezed past it if not for the message itself that stopped me and made me reread the sentence.

In terms of the story itself, Miss Moore is someone to be adored. Your language and her actions with the cupcakes set her up as someone you don't want to see die. So, when she did die, I was less scared and more sad. She got killed because she was another science teacher? That information came from out of nowhere. Not even a hint. Sure, you told us what happened at the very end with the rather exposition-heavy (and emotional language for the news, which is supposed to be a neutral report), but within the story proper there's no indication of what's going on. It's just "ghost haunts poor teacher."

Frankly, I don't even feel sorry for the kid--I know it's a ghost thing, but he lashed out at someone who didn't have anything to do with anything. The news report felt like a last minute "Well here's why he did it." Since it came at the very end, after everything was over, it felt like the kid could have had any reason for haunting the class and we would've felt the same way about it.

I think you made a good effort, but far too many things fell short of the mark.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
43 out of 49 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconartiste-reveur:
artiste-reveur Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is really well-written!  I love the details given by the reporter at the end.  They really make the story come alive.  Great work, and congrats (late) on the DD!
Reply
:iconcanttel:
canttel Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
wat even
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm weird with a weird mind Blank-Emote 
Reply
:iconberryartist:
BerryArtist Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So cool!!
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you! 
Reply
:iconlostbunniesofwendy:
LostbunniesofWendy Featured By Owner May 17, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
Incredible story! I think I wont sleep today!
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner May 17, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Turning people into insomniacs one story at a time. :grinstare: 
Reply
:iconlostbunniesofwendy:
LostbunniesofWendy Featured By Owner May 18, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
That emoticon!
Reply
:iconprincessluna2424:
PrincessLuna2424 Featured By Owner May 11, 2015  Student Artist
Nice. I like it.
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner May 17, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you :aww: 
Reply
:iconprincessluna2424:
PrincessLuna2424 Featured By Owner May 18, 2015  Student Artist
n_n Yep.
Reply
:iconnoiroigirl:
NoiRoiGirl Featured By Owner May 11, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Remilia Scarlet's cupcake!
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner May 11, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Be As Strange As You Can 
Reply
:iconraymix1000:
raymix1000 Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2015  Student General Artist
THis was phenomenal.
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much :huggle:
Reply
:iconkbuckm:
kbuckm Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I think punctuation and grammar could be revised a bit; little things like "laid" instead of "lay" distract too much from the story. It's not a bad story but I feel I didn't get a chance to care about Ms. Moore, the child or why he killed her. Perhaps some more background instead of the news story at the very end would help.
Reply
:iconmissanimecritic:
MissAnimeCritic Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This was such an amazing story! But, when I first heard the title, "Bloody cupcakes", and the note that was written in blood, I thought that miss Moore had killed people, made them into cupcakes, then fed them to her students, which could have made this more messed up, but I think this version is better.
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That would have been an interesting twist! :la: 

If I decide to ever make another version of this story I will 
have to definitely do that :la: 

I'm happy you enjoyed it! thank you so much for reading :aww:
Reply
:iconzekkentak:
Zekkentak Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2014  Student General Artist
Bloody hell. That was some intense read. Excellent job! :D
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you! glad you enjoyed it:aww:
Reply
:iconnataliekit:
NatalieKit Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2014  Student Artist
Omgosh, this was stellar. It was awesome. Make more u.u
very good 😂
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hehe, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it:) 
And lol I will definitely be writing more stories:aww:
Reply
:iconsilversongwriter:
silversongwriter Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014
I like it. It's decent enough. Personally I: felt you could put more detail and be more descriptive to the setting as well as the mind state of the characters. But overall, it's pretty good for a short work
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks:TipOfTheHat: 
Reply
:iconsilversongwriter:
silversongwriter Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014
no problem
Reply
:iconunbearableme:
UnbearableME Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014
dang you should wirte horror stories more Clap 
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I love writing horror :love: 
It's so fun and it can really put
someone in the Halloween spirit! :la: 
Reply
:iconunbearableme:
UnbearableME Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014
yup true :)
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:D
Reply
:iconanikahtennyson:
anikahtennyson Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014
I really love the way this was written.  Very engaging and entertaining.  I like the way everything the child ghost writes is poorly spelled.  The way you wrote this made it really easy to picture.  Really well done!!
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you kindly:D 
Reply
:iconinsomniadoodles:
InsomniaDoodles Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD! I'll be honest, I don't always read stories when people present them to me, but this one kept my attention! Nicely done! Love it!
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it:D
Reply
:iconinsomniadoodles:
InsomniaDoodles Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! ^^
Reply
:iconkrasher124:
Krasher124 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014
Whoa. Intense.
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you:)
Reply
:iconghidorahblaze:
GhidorahBlaze Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Great! Congrats on the Daily Deviation!
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you kindly! :TipOfTheHat: 
Reply
:iconghidorahblaze:
GhidorahBlaze Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sure!
Reply
:iconmaddiealex123:
maddiealex123 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
nice story.really proffesional
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you:D
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Student General Artist
WHOA. "Raw fear" is right-on.
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:eyes:
Reply
:iconindigo-moon-shadow:
Indigo-Moon-Shadow Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Lovely work; I especially like how you ended it :) I wish I had a teacher that brought cupcakes~
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you:) 
My art teacher would:love: she would also bring ice
cream if everyone completed the assignments on time. 
Reply
:iconsorrowscoldfrost:
Sorrowscoldfrost Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014
So, he killed her because she was a science teacher? I'm a little confused...
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The world can be a confusing place sometimes. meowno 
Reply
:iconasjjohnson:
AsjJohnson Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
...at least they didn't assume it was a suicide. I was worried that would happen, which would've been so sad. But, it's still up in the air about what they'll decide about the cause of death.
I think it would sound better at the end if Ms Ryuk doesn't tell the whole story about the kid. It's nice to know, but it's a little odd for the reporter to start talking in that much detail about something that seems unrelated and is old news. Like, if the part about Thomas, starting with "First grader, Thomas Rowling" could be summarized more.
I like the story. ^_^ Things had started to come together, but the ending still revealed stuff.
Miss Moore really shouldn't have yelled at the kid like that. ): She might could've helped him come to rest if she had been nicer.
Reply
:iconsircassie:
SirCassie Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Suicide would have been a bit more sad indeed. :sadnod: 

I shall have to keep that in mind for my next writing exercise:) 
I really appreciate the feedback:happy: 
Reply
:iconmidnightshade16:
Midnightshade16 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014
Wow, just wow! I love your detail! As a beginner writer I have a lot to learn compared to your work here. I'll be following you now, so please teach me more!
Reply
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